AUTUMN

my dad used to play me 'beautiful day' by u2 in the car. windows down, volume all the way up, every time we drove somewhere. i didnt know that the world wasnt beautiful at the time, i learned that eventually. but what i most importantly learned is that the day can still be beautiful, and my life was in my hands, not in anyone else's. and now i listen to this song and think; how we spend our days, is how we spend our lives.

i am starting to develop a fear of sleep. my dreams are too vivid. they can last for what feels like forever and i cant escape them until i happen to wake up.  some nights feel like eternity, ive died in my dreams and been reborn a thousand times until ive awoken.